Signs

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Director: M. Night Shyamalan
Writer: M. Night Shyamalan
Released: August 2002
Starring: Mel Gibson, Joaquin Phoenix, Rory Culkin, Abigail Breslin

What a shame.

I love The Sixth Sense. I love The Village. I love Split. Unbreakable was pretty cool. But how has Signs not kept up with the Shyamalan grade?

I love a good sci-fi thriller as much as the next person, but this had all the potential and none of the thrills.

It’s about Father Graham Hess (Mel Gibson – I guess Bruce Willis was sick that day) who has lost faith in God after his wife was killed by a driver, Ray (M. Night Shyamalan), who fell asleep at the wheel. If he had fallen asleep and veered off the road at literally any other point during his journey, then Graham’s wife would still be alive. This fact haunts both Graham and Ray.

Ray: I’ve never fallen asleep while driving before. It had to be at that right moment. That 10-15 seconds when I passed her walking. It’s like it was meant to be.

This theme of  fate and destiny plays a large part in this film.

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Graham: People break down into two groups. When they experience something lucky, group number one sees it as more than luck, more than coincidence. They see it as a sign, evidence, that there is someone up there, watching out for them. Group number two sees it as just pure luck. Just a happy turn of chance…

Meanwhile, what is supposed to be the main plot point takes a back seat thanks to all the internal conflict: Graham has bloody great big crop circles appearing on his land. Then, unidentified intruders begin to appear on his property.

His younger brother Merrill (Joaquin Phoenix) and Graham’s two children Bo (Abigail Breslin) and Morgan (Rory Culkin – Haley Joel Osment must not have been available) hide in the basement when the aliens begin to attack.

Now I see what helped inspire the Tom Cruise film War of the Worlds. Especially with the whole single dad and smart-ass children thing going on. Cruise’s character is even call Ray in War of the Worlds – just like Shyamalan’s character in this movie!

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Unfortunately, the Morgan character was such a little know-it-all that he’d basically tell the audience exactly what was going to happen, just before it happened. So by the time the aliens did invade, you already knew what they’d do and why anyway.

In addition to his over-shares, was that we are shown the aliens in broad daylight – big mistake. It’s far more scary when you don’t know what the monsters look like.

If that wasn’t enough, the lack of music did not work in the film’s favour at all. Isn’t that rule number one of filmmaking? It’s the music that sets the mood, but the lack of if in vital scenes during this film meant that there were many points where it fell flat instead of making you jump.

Bo: There’s a monster outside my room, can I have a glass of water?

Very flat. To the point where the story of alien invasion ground to a halt while Graham reflected on his faith and internalised emotional conflict.

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The story was trying to be more complex and more philosophical than it needs to be, with jarringly comedic dialogue to snap you out of any suspense that may have been growing. It drags the film to a crawl and you no longer feel afraid – which, I’m certain was the opposite effect they were going for.

Graham: Everybody in this family needs to just calm down and eat some fruit or something.

There were too many monologues and too many over-layered scenes for me to really get stuck in.

I’m so disappointed because I can see this story had so much potential, I just think it was executed in the wrong way. Which is doubly-disappointing because the genius M. Night Shyamalan is behind it all.

What happened?

Jodie’s rating: 3/10

Zombieland

Director: Ruben Fleischer
Writer: Paul Wernick and Rhett Reese
Released: 2009

So this is pretty much the American version of Shaun of the Dead, except they adopted the typical chick-flick style of the unlikely love interest blah blah blah… That was sort of disappointing because the balance was a bit off in regards to the romance, comedy and horror ratio. (A Rom-Com-Zom film)

But I did like it enough to buy the DVD, I’m not going to lie I do love Zombie films, so Zombieland was a must for my collection. The best part of this film is definitely the ‘rules’ that the main character, Columbus (Jese Eisenberg) basis his survival on during the zombie apocalypse.
He “always follows the rules” in his life, and during the apocalypse, these were some of the rules he mentioned:

  1. Cardio
  2. Beware of Bathrooms
  3. Wear Seat Belts
  4. Travel Light
  5. Get a Kick Ass Partner
  6. Always carry a change of underwear
  7. Opportunity Knocks
  8. Don’t be a hero (later crossed out to be a hero)
  9. Limber Up
  10. It’s a marathon, not a sprint, unless it’s a sprint, then sprint
  11. When in doubt Know your way out
  12. Zipplock
  13. A little sun screen never hurt anybody
  14. Double-Knot your Shoes
  15. Pack your stain stick
  16. Check the back seat
  17. Enjoy the little things

I was disappointed when I realised that Abigail Breslin played Little Rock (sister of Wichita/Krista (Emma Stone) because I totally didn’t even recognise her! I wanted Breslin to stay Olive Hoover from Little Miss Sunshine forever…

Overall, this film is pretty random. Like, they spend a while hanging out with Bill Murray, and the main character’s ‘side kick’ Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson) has a Twinkie obsession and spends most of the film hunting down Twinkies…

So, this is an entertaining film for everybody to enjoy. Yet… Not as funny as the unbeatable Shaun of the Dead… Nor is the storyline as intricate… But it is a great film nevertheless.
The rule of thumb is to watch Zombieland before watching Shaun of the Dead. That way you can appreciate Zombieland more, rather than comparing them all the time.

It was a worth while purchase, but I did wait until it went on sale. I don’t think it’s worth paying the full price of when it was first released.

Jodie’s rating: 7/10