Top 5: Favourite On-Screen Duos

Duo.jpg

I was thinking about Ant and Dec, and the unfortunate circumstances that led to Dec having to do the Saturday Night Take Away on his own. I thought, without taking away from their obvious talent, how one can’t do much without the other. You always see them together, and they are at their best together.

It’s the same with the Australian equivalent – Hamish and Andy. They bounce off each other and their energy is great together. But something’s missing when they’re on their own.

duo2.jpg

I guess these television duos are contractually obliged to stay together now for the good of their careers and pay-packet, but I get the feeling that they love being with each other off the screen too.

That got me thinking about film duos – the actors we always see together on-screen, but get the feeling they hang out off-screen too.

Owen Wilson and Ben Stiller
Duo3.jpg

Good-guy Wilson and funnyman Stiller are always working together! Ever since the 1990s actually. It almost seems weird seeing one but not the other in movies. Sometimes they include their third wheel Vince Vaughn, which is cute.
The Cable Guy 
Permanent Midnight 
Meet the Parents 
The Royal Tenenbaums
Zoolander 
Starsky & Hutch 
Meet the Fockers 
Night at the Museum
Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian 
Little Fockers
Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb 
Zoolander 2 

Ben Affleck and Matt Damon
Duo4.jpg

I feel like these two were the smart-cool guys at school. Like, if Owen Wilson and Ben Stiller were the ones who screwed around in class, Ben Affleck and Matt Damon were the ones who knuckled down in class, getting good grades, while winning American football games on the weekends. If they’ve written the movie (i.e.: Good Will Hunting), it’s definitely going to be a good one!
School Ties 
Glory Daze 
Good Will Hunting
Chasing Amy 
Dogma 
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back 
The Third Wheel 
Jersey Girl

Nick Frost and Simon Pegg
Duo5.jpg

Carrying on the school student theme, these guys would be late for school because they were staying up all night playing video games and writing their own comic books. Nevertheless, they are involved with some of the best comedy/action films ever.
Shaun of the Dead
Hot Fuzz 
Grindhouse

Paul 
The Adventures of Tintin
Ice Age: Continental Drift 

The World’s End 
The Boxtrolls 

James Franco and Seth Rogen
Duo6.JPG
At school, these would be the party animals. But probably not the super-cool kind, but the kind who are super funny and get invited because they’re a laugh. I can’t help but think many of their films are based on personal experience?
Knocked Up 
Pineapple Express 
The Green Hornet 
This is the End
The Interview 
Neighbours/Bad Neighbours
Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising/Bad Neighbours 2
The Sound and the Fury 
Zeroville 
Sausage Party 

Will Ferrell and John C. ReillyDuo9.jpg

The brothers from another mother! These guys are the classic angry man-children that we all love. Strangely, they haven’t been in as many films together as I thought they had. But they seem to stick to together like white on rice. I feel like if they were at school, they’d pretend to be the teacher and be sent home for hitting the other children.
Stepbrothers
Anchorman 2
Tim and Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie
Holmes and Watson
Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby

 

I know I said ‘top five’, but here is a sixth… But they’re not ‘our favourite’ duo so they don’t really count…

Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham-Carter
Duo7.jpg

At school, these guys would be in art class or in a dark drama room somewhere. They don’t tend to do anything without Tim Burton. I used to loved all their movies but I feel I’ve grown out of my gothic phase, and I can’t relate to them as much anymore. Nevertheless, their films are entertaining, if not a tad samey.
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory 
Corpse Bride 
Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street 
Alice in Wonderland 
Dark Shadows

 

Who’s your favourite on-screen bromance? Who would be your best friends at school?

Murder on the Orient Express

murder1

Director: Kenneth Branagh
Writer: Based on Agatha Christie’s novel. Screenplay by Michael Green
Released: November 2017
StarringKenneth Branagh, Penélope Cruz, Willem Dafoe, Judi Dench, Johnny Depp, Josh Gad, Derek Jacobi, Leslie Odom Jr., Michelle Pfeiffer and Daisy Ridley

‘Um. No.’ – My review in brief of both the film and book.

I read the book then immediately watched the film, but ultimately they were both disappointing. (The film, more so.)

I am a huge Agatha Christie fan and have read a fair few of her books, but despite its fame, Murder on the Orient Express is by far the biggest disappointment – mostly due to the ending.

CHARACTERS
Basically, in regards to the film, there are far too many characters to keep track of and far too many details to ponder for it to be an enjoyable murder mystery film. Whereas in the book, it is an intriguing and baffling mystery – because you have time to think about everything and consider all the possibilities before the conclusion.

In addition to this, I’d like to add that there are many big names in this film, who seemed to have been cast despite their obvious lack of similarity to the characters in the book.

For example, Mrs Hubbard is described as a plump, humorous, brash, loud and excitable woman, but also motherly and thinks highly of her daughter. Quite clearly, I imagined Kathy Bates would play the role (with her performance of Molly Brown in Titanic in mind), who is the opposite of Michelle Pfeiffer who played Mrs Hubbard in the film as a flirtatious cougar:

Murder2Murder3

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Several characters that are included in the book are excluded in the film, or are merged into one character, which became somewhat confusing and disappointing. I was quite attached to the sobbing, ‘sheep-faced’ Greta Ohlsson, who was totally removed from the film.

“She’s like a sheep, you know. She gets anxious and bleats.”

The detective, Hercule Poirot, gets things wrong in the film and accuses people too early. He comes across as a bit of an amateur, which is absolutely not accurate. Totally unlike the calm, level-headed, particular Hercule Poirot who knows the answers long before he says so.

Murder on the Orient Express review

DIALOGUE
In the film, there is a few action scenes that echo Sherlock Holmes. I felt this was jarring and unnecessary (and are not in the book, I might add!).

I was disappointed by this tone of the film because I was expecting a The King’s Speech kind of feel. Where the dialogue becomes a character of its own, where it is so captivating that you find yourself totally lost in what the character is saying – looking for clues in the way they choose their words. Where the dialogue is isolated by extreme close-ups and static camerawork during dry, but captivating monologues.

It’s a shame really! I can see so clearly what I would change about this movie. There is so much important dialogue, but its treated as a nuisance that is rushed through and forgotten about and interjected with pointless action scenes.

Murder on the Orient Express review

ENDING
The ending was the biggest let-down – in terms of the book and film. Without giving it away completely, I will say that if ‘…and he woke up and it was all a dream‘ is the worst ending to a story ever, then the ending to Murder on the Orient Express is the second to worst ending ever. It was a massive deflation after a long, climactic, uphill hike.

In regards to the film, it was more than just the ending that was disappointing. It was the film in its entirety. Basically, there are around 15 main characters in this story, and all of them need to be given almost equal attention as they are all suspects and they all need to be interviewed.

So, as you can imagine, this means there is a lot of detail that needs to be told to the audience in a very short amount of time!

I don’t mean to do the cliche thing of saying ‘it was not as good as the book’, because although this is true, I think Murder on the Orient Express is a story that is simply unsuitable for the screen. It just doesn’t work – there’s too much information that needs to be conveyed.

Basically, if you haven’t read the book, you’re probably going to be quite lost in the film because they skim over the dialogue – which is all disguised in heavy accents anyway. So even if you do catch some important detail, you probably won’t be able to decipher the meaning of it anyway.

murder6

MY CONCLUSION
Overall, not Agatha Christie’s best ending, and not an enjoyable film. Too confusing and without the ‘gasps’ and intrigue of the book. Perhaps if Kenneth Branagh picked between playing the main character or the director, instead of doing both, then perhaps more time would have been spent on the script.

I know no one intends to make a bad film… But y’all made a bad film.

Jodie’s rating: 3/10

Top 10: Flaws in Horse Films

old Spice horse advert

War huuuurse. Directed by Steven SpielbhuuuuurgHorse films are typically watched by horseriders, which means the film is going to have a very critical audience right off the bat.

I can’t enjoy horse films or TV shows (although… I don’t really know anyone over the age of 12 who does) because it’s really difficult not to nit-pick.

These are the things that always seem to let a horse film down:

  • Foals not being the gender they’re supposed to be. (War Horse and Black Beauty (1994)).
  • Using incorrect terminology. (Racing Stripes).
  • Fake white markings. Therefore, making the differences between all four of the horses used to play the main horse very obvious.
  • “Wild horses” wearing metal shoes (Of Horses and Men and The Saddle Club).
  • The Narnia white unicorn horseActors who can’t ride! The studio cut-aways to the actor riding in front of a green screen does not make up for it! (Flicka).
  • Giving the actor a saddle to use when they’re supposed to be riding bareback (Snow White and the Huntsman and McLeod’s Daughters, watch it here). Also, “bridleless” horses (see right) wearing bridles made of string (The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe).
  • Wrong sound effects used for when horses are cantering on grass. Sometimes it sounds like they’re galloping on concrete wearing iron shoes (Black Beauty).
  • Black Beauty 1993 film– So much rearing!!
  • Excessive loyalty between horse and rider. Horses aren’t dogs. Horses don’t sniff out their human from across a battlefield. I’m referring to that bloody War Horse film again of course.
  • The worst thing? The excessive neighs and horse sounds. Horses are actually really quiet animals in most circumstances. This blunder is in every film with horses.

I think the biggest disappointment though, is the false hope we get from horse films. I always get so pumped to go out for a ride after watching Black Beauty or whatever, but when I hop on my old nag, he refuses to look awesome and respond in the same way as a Friesian does. He also has never protected me from so much as a wasp, let alone a fire, a speeding truck or gun-waving soldiers as seen in the movies.

I must give a thumbs-up to the following horse movies though. For the most part, they got a lot right.

  • Seabiscuit.
    Certainly looks like Toby Maguire can ride!
  • Black Beauty (1994).
    I’m still baffled as to how they got the horses to do half the things they did. Maybe the animal welfare laws were a tad lax in those days? Fantastic score though!
  • The Horse Whisperer (featuring Scarlett Johansson).
    Again, how they got the horses to do much of what they did is amazing. A very realistic approach to training for once too. And, yes! That’s another dig at War Horse! It’s terrible! I wrote all about it here. Including the part where horses climb ladders to get into the loft.
  • Of Horses and Men.
    A beautiful Icelandic horse film celebrating the horses’ way of life there.

Random facts:

  • Most horses in films are solid colours because it’s easier to get a double that looks the same. That’s why you rarely see spotty, patchy or dappled horses on the screen – even the ones in the background, so as not to draw attention away from the main horse… I wasn’t going to break out the Saddle Club fan girl in me, but that’s why Comanche is an Appaloosa in the books but a bay in the TV series! SCANDAL!
  • Solid black horses with no white markings tend to be difficult to come across. Hence why Friesians are often used (Lord of the Rings/The Hobbit, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, any war or fantasy film you can think of), because that breed only comes in black, never has white markings and they’re all similar in size and height.
  • Horses are taught to rear to show resistance to the rider because teaching Horse in Sleep Hollow film that Johnny Depp adoptedthem to buck is much, much harder to do.
  • The two gorgeous ponies in Sleepy Hollow are my favourites. Johnny Depp even adopted the one he rode (named Gunpowder in the film, and Goldeneye in real life) because he was going to be put down after the film! *Sigh*

Thank you to my fellow equestrian friends for helping me collate this list!

Let me leave you with the worst and most cringe-worthy horse film trailer I’ve seen. Enjoy.

Jodie.

Chocolat

Chocolat-Movie

Director: Lasse Hallström
Writer: Screenplay by Robert Nelson Jacobs. Based on the novel by Joanne Harris.
Released: December 2000
Starring: Judi Dench, Johnny Depp and Carrie-Anne Mos

A mysterious and magical fable-like tale about an eccentric, colourful and embracing Chocolat deppchocolatier named Vianne Rocher (Juliette Binoche) and how she brightened up a deeply rooted traditional French village. Her provocative clothing, illegitimate child  and outspoken values made her unwanted in the village, being outcast as an evil influence. Despite this, her Chocolaterie brings hope and perspective to the guilty customers. Amongst this, there is a compelling love interest between Vianne and a free-spirited Irish traveller, Roux (Johnny Depp).

I love the lead actress, Juliette Binoche, but I do wonder if they chose her because Marion Cotillard was unavailable. In any case, they are two gorgeously elegant and talented French women.

Despite looking like a model village,  Flavigny-sur-Ozerain is in fact a real village located in Burgundy, France.
Despite looking like a model village, Flavigny-sur-Ozerain is in fact a real village located in Burgundy, France.

This film is about depriving ourselves of things purely for the discipline, particularly pressured by religion or the expectations of society. With everybody being up tight about keeping a perfect front for others, it seems easy for the important things in their lives to crumble in the background. Perhaps marriage, not pursuing new love, staying in dangerous situations from fear of persecution, or not allowing themselves to try new things.

The incredible Judi Dench playing a foul mouthed, strong willed landlord
The incredible Judi Dench playing a foul mouthed, strong willed landlord

The Chocolaterie represents freedom and indulgence. It is a moral that allows people to make mistakes, to not feel guilty about taking pleasure in something or feeling damned or frowned upon. They begin to give into desires, discover new feelings and acting on them.

The soundtrack is authentically French! Minor Swing by Django Reinhardt/Stéphane Grappelli makes you want to get up and dance, with other classical songs that bring out the essence of the town. Lots of guitars and drums that gets your feet tapping. Fantastic songs.

Vianne#2This is a movie set in the year of 1959. The women wear dresses and hats and the men in suits. Everything seems black and white until the woman with pink shoes and bright coloured dresses arrives. The costumes are absolutely to die for. The shoes, the belts the make up… So beautiful!

I have to say, the first few times I watched this, I was expecting it to be a bit more mystical with a Chocolatier who is very wise and knowledgeable, helping people in every place that she moves to. chocolatrieBut she is only human who makes mistakes and questions life like the people in the village opened themselves up to do. Now that I’m older, I can see that this was purposeful. Vianne is flawed too which just makes this fable a much more down to earth film.

For all the chocolate lovers, Johnny Depp lovers, romantics, dreamers and free thinkers. This is a personable film that is easy to watch and brings hope to people, particularly to anyone who feels a little different or who questions society’s morals, or the things that we are influenced by.

An uplifting, soulful journey of how a little sweetness in life can bring people together.

Jodie’s rating: 8/10

Edward Scissorhands

es

Director: Tim Burton
Writer: Caroline Thompson and Tim Burton
Released: 1990
Starring: Johnny Depp, Winona Ryder and Dianne Wiest

You’ll either love it or hate it. I happen to love it.

JD as ESTim Burton’s quirky and off centre idea of normalcy is shown in Edward Scissorhands which is about a man who was created by an inventor who died before he could complete him – hence the scissors for hands. Edward finds himself embraced into suburbia which challenges the belief system of the small, gossipy population, before everything goes wrong and Edward finds himself in a more confused state than ever.

scissorhandsIt does seem like a crazy storyline. A man with scissors for hands? Imagine trying to pitch that to a production company…

“Hey, I had this idea about a guy who was created by an inventor out of leather. But the inventor never finished him so he gave the Frankenstein-like character scissors to compensates for his lack of hands… He can’t pick anything up! And sometimes he accidentally hurts himself and others around him… Like a metaphor really… Yeah. So, we need twenty million dollars.”

Anyway! Burton did get it made, with the actors considered to play Edward Scissorhands including Tom Cruise and Michael Jackson. Thankfully, Burton decided to give the teen idol, Johnny Depp (Alice In Wonderland and Public Enemies), a chance to break his type-cast. Nobody could have played the awkward Edward character any better.

Peg BoggsSpeaking of casting, one of my favourite actresses, Dianne Wiest, (The Lost Boys and The Horse Whisperer) was the perfect choice to play Peg Boggs, the Avon lady and motherly figure to Edward. She is so sensitive and plays the part of a kind suburban house mum very well.

Caroline Thompson was the screenwriter and collaborated with Tim Burton to come up with the story originally. She has written the screenplays to the likes of The Secret Garden and Black Beauty. She is a genius! One of my idols, for sure.

ScissorsuburbsThe sets look like a model set because of all of the pastel colours and cookie-cutter, two dimensional looking houses, especially in contrast with the black, gothic castle that Edward Scissorhands hides out in. It is actually a spectacular set which is an exaggeration of suburbia’s claustrophobia, uniformity and lack of individualism or creativity, which is what Edward Scissorhands inadvertently changes when he is introduced to the neighbourhood.

edward_scissorhands_kim_dancing_in_the_snowIt is a comedic view on the insanity of normalcy. An entertaining watch – unlike anything you have ever seen before. It is a typical Burton film so if you’re not a fan of his work usually, you may not enjoy the weirdness of Edward Scissorhands. However, the love interest between Edward and Kim (Winona Ryder) as well as the snowy Christmas scenes makes it a great festive movie (despite the somewhat sad ending which Tom Cruise disliked).

A great movie! A fantastical change to the ordinary chick-flicks that flood the market. This is a magical, feel-good fable with a twist that will be appreciated by the whole family.

Jodie’s rating: 7.5/10
I’m not overly convinced that either of these trailers give the best feel of what the movie is really like, but here they are…

Public Enemies

Public Enemies

Director: Michael Mann
Writer: Michael Mann, Ronan Bennett and Ann Biderman
Released: 2009
Starring: Johnny Depp, Christian Bale, Marion Cotillard, Billy Crudup, Stephen Dorff, Stephen Lang

After reading the blurb on the back of the $9.99 DVD I was preparing myself for a mind-numbing 143 minutes of car chases and gunfire. With such an instant dislike you may wonder why I bothered rescuing this film from the bargain bin. Well, I put my faith in Johnny Depp’s reputation of being in the best of films.

public enemies gunfire

Three words; Way. Friggin’. Cool. The car chases were not boring (possibly for the simple reason that the 1930s cars are wicked!) and the gun fire had consequences. i.e. it wasn’t random gunfire for the most part – some bullets did actually collide with people or surroundings, which is always a bonus.

John Dillinger mug shot
The real John Dillinger

Public Enemies is a true account of John Dillinger’s (Depp) bank robberies, successes and being on the constant run from the cops during the depression of 1933-34. Despite it being rather difficult to distinguish many of the male characters during the dimmer scenes due to their very similar wardrobe, the characters were pretty well rounded and before you knew it, you were rooting for the ‘baddies’. You know the writers and film makers have done their job when you end up supporting the murdering protagonists. It’s like Dillinger is perceived as a superhero villain/rock star… He’s the dark superstar of the 1930s.

Depp as Dillenger
Depp as Dillenger

This action thriller is fantastic because it did happen which makes all of the gasping and gob-smacking moments even more appropriate. However, after doing about ten-minutes worth of research after watching the film, I realised that they embellished the love-interest and missed out the hugest mystery of all; the question mark over Dillinger’s death!

Apparently there was a look alike named Jimmy Lawrence who was a petty thief who became Dillinger’s alias in Chicago, and because John Dillinger burned his fingers with acid to remove his fingerprints, the post-mortem was inconclusive despite the FBI closing the case – possibly to save any more embarrassment in relation to the long chase. I think they should have included that, and laid off on the love interest of Billie Frechette (Marion Cotillard) a tad.

The filming and lighting was FANTASTIC! It was mostly hand-held with slow motion shots that made chills go down your spine and incredible shadows which created the entire mood.

“What keeps you up at night?”
“Coffee”

Jodie’s rating: 7.5/10

Alice In Wonderland (2010)

johnny_depp

Director: Tim Burton
Writer: Linda Woolverton (Based on Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carrol)
Released: March 2010
Starring: Johnny Depp, Anne Hathaway, Helena Bonham Carter, Crispin Glover, Matt Lucas, Mia Wasikowska

What a trip!

Despite numerous films portraying Lewis Carroll’s tale of Alice in Wonderland, Tim Burton’s gothic varnished tale of being lost in Wonderland hit the nail on the head. Burton’s magical story turned Disney’s musical cartoon into a 3D adventure of mystery and excitement for the whole family.

Alice Kingsly (Wasikowska) in Burton's Alice In Wonderland

After Alice (Mia Wasikowska) abandons a surprise engagement party thrown for her, she accidently re-discovers Wonderland or ‘Underland’ as the residents call it. Burton made sure that Alice was down-to-earth and neutral enough for the audience to relate to in the unfamiliar land and out-of-this-world characters throughout the film.

Alice encounters our favourite characters from the Tweedles (Matt Lucas) to the classic Mad Hatter (Johnny Depp) who were included in our unforgettable journey through Wonderland.

alice-in-wonderland-cat

Every character was brilliantly portrayed with the most memorable being Johnny Depp’s witty character, The Mad Hatter, whose maddening personality seemed to be the heart of Wonderland.

Depp’s performance was undoubtedly convincing with the audience’s emotions changing as the Hatter’s did. From being sympathetic toward Hatter’s loneliness and despair over the Red Queen’s (Helena Bonham Carter) destruction of the land, to the aggressive and spooky Scottish man he frequently became throughout the film. 

The Red Queen’s head was enlarged which was very well done; it portrayed her big-headedness physically, which matched her selfish acts. 

The fantastically convincing post-production effects and the use of green screens created a trippy and fantastical trip to and through the land. (Although one may wonder if it would have been a load easier and cheaper to do the entire thing animated). 

Helena Bonham Carter as The Red Queen

The music composed by the incredible Danny Elfman was the cherry on top for this captivating movie. Elfman, who has composed for most of Burton’s films including Edward Scissorhands and Big Fish, stuck to his very traditional/stereotypical mix of choir, horror based music and melodic stringed instruments, which matched the visuals perfectly. Elfman has never failed intertwining contrasting ideas, such as the innocence of Alice and the strange jungle of Wonderland, into nothing less than a masterpiece.

Tim-Burtons-Alice-In-Wonderland

The overall storyline of Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland was the perfect addition of Lewis Carroll’s story and Tim Burton’s signature techniques of story-telling. However, the secret world of Narnia and the evil Queen came to mind throughout the film, which didn’t give Alice in Wonderland a very unique or alternative storyline like Burton’s films usually have.

The White Queen, portrayed by Anne Hathaway, was obviously instructed to be the fairytale, almost stereotypical princess which unfortunately did not quite translate as it appeared fake and cringe-worthy. I felt like I was thrown out of the fantastical world with reality hitting like a slap to the face. 

Anne Hathaway as The White Queen

The director, Tim Burton, can always be relied upon for the best dark, fantasy-themed movies, and he has lived up to his reputation once again. Burton mentioned that he had not been satisfied with a version of Alice In Wonderland since the book. I agree, and I think this film will most likely be the final version we will see.

Tim-Burtons-Alice-In-Wonderland-alice-in-wonderland-2010-13698617-1360-768The cast were fantastic and the post production techniques are impressive and live up to today’s high film expectations, especially since the release of Avatar. Burton’s film, Alice in Wonderland, is a recommended view.

Jodie’s rating: 7/10