Beauty and the Beast (2017)

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Director: Bill Condon
Writers: Linda Woolverton (Disney film), Jeanne-Marie Leprince de Beaumont (story)
Released: March 2017
Starring:  Emma Watson, Dan Stevens, Luke Evans, Kevin Kline, Josh Gad, Ewan McGregor, Stanley Tucci, Audra McDonald, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Ian McKellen, Emma Thompson

The 1991 Disney animation of Beauty and the Beast is a movie that I love dearly. So while I had major reservations about this remake – mostly because of Emma Watson – I was quietly optimistic about it. Perhaps today’s technology will enhance the magic…

But no. It doesn’t. This remake was appalling, and my reluctance to watch it was proven understandable.

The casting was totally wrong. Right off the bat Emma Watson – or should I say Hermione Granger – was a problem. While she fits the physicality of Belle, her same-old expression of open-mouthed, furrow-browed facials were tiring to say the least.

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I personally would have cast another semi-unknown actress like Lily James who played Cinderella in the 2015 remake, or Mia Wasikowska as Alice in the 2010 remake of Alice in Wonderland.

Not only was the protagonist the wrong choice, I also found that Emma Thompson had a really harsh voice, which didn’t fit the part of the warm motherly character, Mrs Potts. I think Julie Walters would have done it better.

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I love Stanly Tucci, but I’m not sure how he stumbled into this film either. However, Josh Gad as LeFou was perfect. (He played the snowman in Frozen.)

I don’t think the horse Philippe should have been a dapple grey. What’s wrong with keeping him bay?

Fun fact: Ryan Gosling turned down the role of the Beast for the lead role in La La Land. Emma Watson turned down what became Emma Stone’s role in La La Land for this film. (Thank the stars above for their decisions.)

The storyline strayed a little too far from the fairytale for my liking. It went into how Belle’s mother died and how it put a strain on her relationship with her father. It was an unnecessary deviation. Because of these added sequences, I found the rest of the film to be condensed and rushed. (In the 1991 film, I swear it takes longer for Belle to fall in love with the beast.)

I wonder if Emma Watson influenced the story? Because it has far stronger feminist themes through it now, where Belle is forever in control and smarter than the rest. Which made me dislike her. Especially because of the very poignant moments where Belle would make it exceptionally clear that she is a strong independent woman who don’t need no man… She may as well have turned to camera and say ‘#timesup’.

The songs are lengthened, which was also unnecessary and I honestly started daydreaming a bit.

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Beauty and the Beast was trying too hard. Trying too hard to make it better than the animation, and all the unusual actors that were cast seemed to be desperately trying to prove themselves too. Over-theatrical acting turned it into a stage play rather than a live-action movie.

No, no, no, no and no. I shan’t be your guest and I disagree entirely with the casting decisions and with messing-about with the story.

Jodie’s rating: 3/10

Sorry Roberta, thank you for lending me the DVD though :) x

 

Murder on the Orient Express

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Director: Kenneth Branagh
Writer: Based on Agatha Christie’s novel. Screenplay by Michael Green
Released: November 2017
StarringKenneth Branagh, Penélope Cruz, Willem Dafoe, Judi Dench, Johnny Depp, Josh Gad, Derek Jacobi, Leslie Odom Jr., Michelle Pfeiffer and Daisy Ridley

‘Um. No.’ – My review in brief of both the film and book.

I read the book then immediately watched the film, but ultimately they were both disappointing. (The film, more so.)

I am a huge Agatha Christie fan and have read a fair few of her books, but despite its fame, Murder on the Orient Express is by far the biggest disappointment – mostly due to the ending.

CHARACTERS
Basically, in regards to the film, there are far too many characters to keep track of and far too many details to ponder for it to be an enjoyable murder mystery film. Whereas in the book, it is an intriguing and baffling mystery – because you have time to think about everything and consider all the possibilities before the conclusion.

In addition to this, I’d like to add that there are many big names in this film, who seemed to have been cast despite their obvious lack of similarity to the characters in the book.

For example, Mrs Hubbard is described as a plump, humorous, brash, loud and excitable woman, but also motherly and thinks highly of her daughter. Quite clearly, I imagined Kathy Bates would play the role (with her performance of Molly Brown in Titanic in mind), who is the opposite of Michelle Pfeiffer who played Mrs Hubbard in the film as a flirtatious cougar:

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Several characters that are included in the book are excluded in the film, or are merged into one character, which became somewhat confusing and disappointing. I was quite attached to the sobbing, ‘sheep-faced’ Greta Ohlsson, who was totally removed from the film.

“She’s like a sheep, you know. She gets anxious and bleats.”

The detective, Hercule Poirot, gets things wrong in the film and accuses people too early. He comes across as a bit of an amateur, which is absolutely not accurate. Totally unlike the calm, level-headed, particular Hercule Poirot who knows the answers long before he says so.

Murder on the Orient Express review

DIALOGUE
In the film, there is a few action scenes that echo Sherlock Holmes. I felt this was jarring and unnecessary (and are not in the book, I might add!).

I was disappointed by this tone of the film because I was expecting a The King’s Speech kind of feel. Where the dialogue becomes a character of its own, where it is so captivating that you find yourself totally lost in what the character is saying – looking for clues in the way they choose their words. Where the dialogue is isolated by extreme close-ups and static camerawork during dry, but captivating monologues.

It’s a shame really! I can see so clearly what I would change about this movie. There is so much important dialogue, but its treated as a nuisance that is rushed through and forgotten about and interjected with pointless action scenes.

Murder on the Orient Express review

ENDING
The ending was the biggest let-down – in terms of the book and film. Without giving it away completely, I will say that if ‘…and he woke up and it was all a dream‘ is the worst ending to a story ever, then the ending to Murder on the Orient Express is the second to worst ending ever. It was a massive deflation after a long, climactic, uphill hike.

In regards to the film, it was more than just the ending that was disappointing. It was the film in its entirety. Basically, there are around 15 main characters in this story, and all of them need to be given almost equal attention as they are all suspects and they all need to be interviewed.

So, as you can imagine, this means there is a lot of detail that needs to be told to the audience in a very short amount of time!

I don’t mean to do the cliche thing of saying ‘it was not as good as the book’, because although this is true, I think Murder on the Orient Express is a story that is simply unsuitable for the screen. It just doesn’t work – there’s too much information that needs to be conveyed.

Basically, if you haven’t read the book, you’re probably going to be quite lost in the film because they skim over the dialogue – which is all disguised in heavy accents anyway. So even if you do catch some important detail, you probably won’t be able to decipher the meaning of it anyway.

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MY CONCLUSION
Overall, not Agatha Christie’s best ending, and not an enjoyable film. Too confusing and without the ‘gasps’ and intrigue of the book. Perhaps if Kenneth Branagh picked between playing the main character or the director, instead of doing both, then perhaps more time would have been spent on the script.

I know no one intends to make a bad film… But y’all made a bad film.

Jodie’s rating: 3/10