Here are a few films that I wouldn’t recommend seeing if you’re planning on feeling remotely happy for the foreseeable future. These ‘not happily ever after’ movies will bring you down, so don’t go accidentally watching any of these if you’re having a bad day and need cheering up. Because they will not help:
Changeling
“No, I didn’t say he was a fake boy. He’s not my boy. They brought home the wrong boy. My son is still missing.”
Oh my Lord this will just tear you apart. Angelina Jolie plays the part of a desperate mother in the 1920s whose son disappears. The corrupt LAPD are determined to make her shut up and go away because they simply can’t find her son. She gets sent to an mental institution, but is still determined to fight for her missing son. Based on a true story too. What a horrible thing to have happen to a person.
Seven Pounds
“In seven days, God created the world. And in seven seconds, I shattered mine.”
The story about a man who is feeling immense guilt for killing seven people in a car accident. So he goes about trying to make it right. It’s heartbreaking.
The Fault in our Stars
“I fell in love with him the way you fall asleep: Slowly, and then all at once.”
Two teenagers who are fighting cancer fall in love and plan their funerals together. It would be inspiring if it wasn’t so depressing.
The Boy in the Striped Pajamas
“We’re not supposed to be friends, you and me. We’re meant to be enemies. Did you know that?”
I mean, obviously this is on the list as it’s a holocaust movie. This isn’t something you’d accidentally watch, but it’s worth noting how soul-destroying it is. I only watched it once but some scenes have been etched into my brain so vividly that I’ll never want to watch it ever again. It’s horrifically and desperately sad.
Moulin Rouge!
“The show must go on, Satine. We’re creatures of the underworld. We can’t afford to love.”
My favourite romance film of all time. It’s passionate and beautiful, but the ending is emotional to say the least. Heartbreak city right here!
The Green Mile
“I’ve done some things in my life I’m not proud of, but this is the first time I’ve ever felt in real danger of hell.”
I haven’t watched this film in ages, but oh my God I do remember crying all the way through it.
The Descendants
“You give your children enough money to do something, but not enough to do nothing.”
I thought this was going to be a ‘dramedy’, but it is way way heavier than I could ever have imagined. It is not a fun film. It’s a good film… But not a fun film. George Clooney plays a dad whose wife is in a coma. It’s about him trying to keep his two daughters going, while dealing with the fresh knowledge that his wife was having an affair before her accident.
Dead Poets Society
“…life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?”
It’s a tragic story of boys struggling to make their parents happy while pursuing their dreams at a prestigious boarding school. Robin Williams plays an inspiring English teacher who does his best to keep them thinking freely and staying positive. But he doesn’t manage to save everyone.
Big Fish
“They say when you meet the love of your life, time stops, and that’s true. What they don’t tell you is that when it starts again, it moves extra fast to catch up.”
Oh jeez. Guys. This is just one of those films that is such a ‘real’ story that you’ll probably find yourself welling up all the way through, but it’s the final scene that will get you! The water works will flow forth and there’s nothing you can do about it.
A Little Princess
“Sometimes when I dream, I sense a part of me that’s missing. It’s a strange feeling having your heart remember something your mind can not.”
A little girl gets sent to a boarding school while her dad goes away to war. He goes missing in action and is presumed dead, meaning the money to pay for his daughter’s boarding school dies with him. The little girl goes from riches to rags and is forced to work for her board, but she never forgets the magic of being a little girl and brings love and fun to all the girls in the school. It’s a tear-jerker! It does have a happily-ever-after ending though, so you’re a bit safer with this one.
They say when you meet the love of your life, time stops. And that’s true. –
Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty… The right person is still going to think the sun shines out of your ass –
The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return –
When you realise you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. –When Harry Met Sally
You had me at hello –
I’m also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her –Notting Hill
I wanted it to be you, I wanted it to be you so badly –
It’s like in that moment the whole universe existed just to bring us together –
You have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love you. And wish from this day forth never to be parted from you –Pride & Prejudice
Choose me. Marry me. Let me make you happy –My Best Friend’s Wedding
It was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were supposed to be together –Sleepless in Seattle
I wish I had done everything on earth with you –
I have loved her even when I hated her… –
Promise me that whenever you’re sad, or unsure, or you lose complete faith, that you’ll try to see yourself through my eyes –P.S I Love You
I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I’ve led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who’s ever lived: I’ve loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough –
…most of all I’m scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I’m with you –Dirty Dancing
I’m just exactly where I want to be –
Love is too weak a word for what I feel –Annie Hall
I think I’d miss you even if we’d never met –The Wedding Date
You’re not perfect… She’s not perfect either. But the question is whether or not you’re perfect for each other –
Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. –Hitch
OR the mamsy-pamsy emotional blubbering characters who through the fog of their infatuation are unable to reach logical decisions.
Unfortunately, the fairytale romance unravels due to the Duke (Richard Roxburgh) – an investor in Satine and the Moulin Rouge – attempts to put an end to their love affair. Christian and Satine’s love turns into a concoction of “desire, suspicion, jealously, anger and betrayal”.
It is full of colour and energy! It feels like you’re right there in the Moulin Rouge with them. The lighting is incredible along with Baz Lurhmann’s trademark choppy edits and steadicam footage. This all adds to the excitement on the dance floor with the colourful dresses and cabaret dancers.
The music is fantastic! They’re not songs that describe mundane things, it’s music that supports the emotion of it all. They’re modern songs by incredible artists such as Bowie, Rufus Wainwright and Elton John, as well as bands such as T.Rex, Queen and Nirvana, in an orchestral fashion, and/or medley mash-up of multiple songs, sometimes in aMoulin Rouge party style.
NZ Film Freak 